Why Knitting?

Have you ever been asked why you loved something or someone and found yourself at a loss for the answer? You just do, you always have, its like air, you can't imagine life before or after this love of yours. Such is the case when I think about knitting, or quilting for that matter.

I believe all art has a transformative quality, to be able to participate in the act of creation is divine and yet my experiences with fiber arts are even more remarkable. Knitters, crocheters and quilters have a long tradition of community. Their art is taught and shared and grown in groups and a part of the shared experience of their lives. When you join a knitting group or a quilt guild you don't just share your problems with purling you share your heartaches and your joys. Your scarves grow as your children and grandchildren grow, you weather death and divorce and plan weddings and bar mitzvahs. Every sweater and quilt is filled with parts of you and the women you love. It has a history before it is even worn.

Knitting is magical. A wad of fiber becomes yarn, which one stitch at a time transforms into an object of beauty (at least in the eye of the knitter) and a unique heirloom is created. There is satisfaction in the making and completion, personal growth within a community and ultimately a product that will give comfort to whomever receives it. Knitting is such a powerful way to invest ourselves in the human experience; to both create and commune. Why do I love knitting? It is the only magic I have ever really known.

All I Really Want............

Ever remember something that hasn't entered your mind since what seems like forever? I had that experience very recently.

The psychologist in me is always fascinated by the nature/nurture phenomenon. How much of who we are is "hard-wired" in our DNA and how much is the sum total of our experiences? And better yet, how do we know? This is mostly a curiosity for me and not a real research problem I intend to solve, mostly because I suspect there will never be an answer and part of me likes the mystery that such a quandary creates. Anyway..............

Since I've sort of rebooted my life lately and find myself in the process of reinventing my life I've found myself pulling back and really asking, "what do I want?" Recently I was trying to imagine my ideal life without allowing my logical side to interrupt and the most vivid memory washed over me.

When I was in high school one of my teachers, probably an English teacher, although I don't exactly remember, asked us to write an essay about our ideal life. What it would look and feel like, what a "typical day" would be like. I can remember nearly every thought, image and feeling from that essay. What is remarkable is how similar my desires are now. The place I imagined, the life I was living, the way I was spending my time. All are things I still want today (with a few additions and modifications.) Remarkable really.

I suspect that I "forgot" this little dream because I decided at some point that is wasn't realistic or responsible. I'm sure if I had remembered it or stumbled across the actual essay I would have chalked it up to youthful idealism and dismissed it offhand, but I really was on to something. I knew what would make me happy, what would be the truest expression of myself. I knew it better as a kid than I seem to have as an adult. Amazing really. At some point I started trying to live a logical, orderly life that fit someone else's mold. I never even let myself want anything for myself somehow assuming my needs would get met in the end, or maybe disregarding them altogether. Maybe its time to listen to the inner teenager (excluding fashion choices) and pursue a life less ordinary?