The Secret

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple of years, at some point you have at least heard of The Secret. This is a new age/ metaphysical/ spiritual/ philosophical phenomenon that has swept the country through books, film and various other media outlets. The concept is simple, and isn’t anything new (nor does it claim to be) it simply packages an existing idea in a well structured way. The “secret” to success in life is entirely rooted in positive thinking. I of course have over simplified it here, but The Secret is well worth looking into and even more worthwhile if you can practice it.

That said, I would like to suggest that there is a second “secret” that is much more challenging, but also equally rooted in a concept we also already know, although often struggle to implement. The secret to happiness in life is self-love. Now, on some level we all know that in order to fully love others and be loved we have to love ourselves, but in reality this is something that we mostly give lip service to when counseling a brokenhearted friend. How many of us truly love ourselves? If someone asked you point blank, “Do you love yourself?” Is the answer yes?

In my own case I’d be lying if I were to say so. There are aspects of myself that I dearly love and am quite proud of, but do I simply love myself unconditionally, wholeheartedly and without judgment? That is what I seem to want from those who love me, but do I really even feel that way about myself? Not really. Better yet, do I know anyone else who does? That is tricky, because it isn’t arrogance or conceit, those are fakes; real self-love is total acceptance and affirmation of who you are, whereas arrogance and conceit are overcompensations for perceived deficits. I can only think of a few people who are really at peace with themselves and simply, confidently love who they are. I want to be one of those people. So if the “secret” is self-love, what is the secret to the secret?