House of Four Rooms

"There is an Indian Belief that everyone is in a house of four rooms: A physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room everyday, even if only to keep it aired, we are not complete."

-- Rumer Godden

Ok, so on principal alone, I don't do New Years resolutions. I can't bring myself to make commitments I can't follow through with. I do like the idea though. Start the year by pausing to reflect and readjust one's living. In truth I think I've spent the better part of a year in a state of constant reflection, but now is a good time to look back and figure out how to look forward.

In the last year nearly every aspect of my life has shifted, moved or been dumped completely on its ear. I've been in and out of relationships, jobs, homes, cars, debt and countless other things. I've seen, done and experienced a whole litany of things I wouldn't have fathomed just a few years ago. And at this moment I'm still upright and breathing and possibly even a little more sane than I was even a year ago.

One of the things that I seem to be learning on this crazy ride through uncharted life is that there is something profound to be understood about a well balanced life. I always knew that peripherally, but figured when I was less busy with work, or when the kitchen renovations were complete, or whenever the preoccupation of the moment subsided I'd slow down and meditate on that one. Interestingly enough, everything came crashing down around me and my choice was to give up, crawl under the rubble and die OR I could choose to start living my life, and maybe this time do it differently.

I chose life and in doing so I knew I had to turn my back on the old life in both literal and metaphoric ways. If this were a movie, that would be the happy ending, but life isn't that neat and orderly. In a myriad of ways this has been an atrocious year, but for now I'll focus on what I've learned.

1. Absolutely anyone can become homeless. I don't care how much money or education you have, life can go horribly wrong in such a short time. Without the help of my friends and family I would be on the street today.

2. People seldom offer help they don't intend to give. Receiving their help isn't weakness, it makes both of you stronger.

3. Hope is the only antidote to depression.

4. I'd rather be homeless than heartbroken (and I don't recommend doing both at the same time.)

5. None of the things that absorbed my time and energy were there to sustain me when life went topsy turvey. My career and home were gone and could bring no comfort to me.


6. The people in my life, whom I had sadly neglected for more "practical" concerns, their love and support was the glue that held me together.

And so the balance, it was all off. There were rooms of my house that I never entered. I was too busy for emotional things, or spiritual things, oftentimes I even neglected physical things. This year I learned that I have to bring balance to my life if I don't want the walls to fall in around me again. No resolutions, just a guiding principal.............live life in balance. One can only hope that a life in balance will be blessed with love, harmony and prosperity.

Why Knitting?

Have you ever been asked why you loved something or someone and found yourself at a loss for the answer? You just do, you always have, its like air, you can't imagine life before or after this love of yours. Such is the case when I think about knitting, or quilting for that matter.

I believe all art has a transformative quality, to be able to participate in the act of creation is divine and yet my experiences with fiber arts are even more remarkable. Knitters, crocheters and quilters have a long tradition of community. Their art is taught and shared and grown in groups and a part of the shared experience of their lives. When you join a knitting group or a quilt guild you don't just share your problems with purling you share your heartaches and your joys. Your scarves grow as your children and grandchildren grow, you weather death and divorce and plan weddings and bar mitzvahs. Every sweater and quilt is filled with parts of you and the women you love. It has a history before it is even worn.

Knitting is magical. A wad of fiber becomes yarn, which one stitch at a time transforms into an object of beauty (at least in the eye of the knitter) and a unique heirloom is created. There is satisfaction in the making and completion, personal growth within a community and ultimately a product that will give comfort to whomever receives it. Knitting is such a powerful way to invest ourselves in the human experience; to both create and commune. Why do I love knitting? It is the only magic I have ever really known.